Tag Archives: Relationship

What About 2016?

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So what about 2016?

The end of January is right at hand and I wonder how many are still thinking about 2016?

Thinking about the good, the bad and the really ugly of a year that has come and gone; did you hear that? A year that has come and gone! Ladies and gentlemen, we are in a brand new year. The chalkboard has been erased and it’s a fresh new slate just waiting for you to start writing.

The only thing we should really be thinking about from 2016 is “What did I learn?” Honestly, every day of life is a learning experience. The problem is that if we don’t recognize and make changes, then life basically becomes like 365 ground hog days with no true forward traction. Some people live their entire life never finding that place of joy and happiness. They always find themselves in want and call it need. They move from one horrible day to another and one day realize they have wasted their entire life away with nothing to show for it. Life was never promised it would be easy BUT it is also not meant to be the way I just described it. But we also don’t have to buy into a downward spiraling system that is all around us.

So let’s stop for a moment and look at our lives. TIME TO TAKE INVENTORY! Grab a pen and paper for this PLEASE! Be honest on the following:
1. Today, at this very moment, how would YOU describe your life?
2. When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?
3. Do you like how you feel?
4. When you look around your home and in your vehicle, do you see excellence?
5. What would you like to see changed in the relationships in your life?

If any of these questions have a non-positive response, then it’s time for a change! That change cannot be left in the hands of God or anyone else. You have the power of change and the authority over your own life. Today is the second most important day of your entire life, second only to the day you made Jesus the Lord over your life. Why is this day so important? Because you have the opportunity to make a shift that will change your life forever!

My wife, Debbie, and I started a lifestyle change maybe 5 years ago. It’s been a roller coaster ride with more up’s than down’s but 5 years later, we feel better than we ever have. The smallest repeated positive change can make a huge difference over time. But again, we live in a society that wants it NOW! That’s why people are daily looking for the latest diet plan, the pill that will shred the pounds without all the work. I just heard a commercial for a workout item and the money backer for this invention said, “I like to stay fit but not workout”. REALLY!???! That’s like “I want to lose weight while I eat a bag of chips and drink a soda”. For us, we have tried many things, but a free app (MyFitnessPal) and some decisions about what we were not going to eat OR eat so much of, making smart food choices, and a good exercise regimen, turned about to be the answer. You can apply this to any area of your life, you just have to stop making excuses! Trust me, I know. I made excuses for years but now I see the proof and real desire!

So today, right now, STOP looking at 2016 and focus on the here and now and make it the BEST day, week, month, and year EVER!!!!!!

I would love to hear from you and also, if you have any questions on this post OR how we made the changes in our health and fitness, please feel free to ask. We really do want to hear from you. =)

And Two Shall Become One…

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After reading comments from the pictures and posts I put on Facebook from my Anniversary Date Day on May 1st, I was led in my heart to start this series. This is Part 1 to the “Kingdom Relationship” series.

Notice: I am not a professional marriage counselor, nor a perfect husband. My wife has put up with a lot and given more grace than anyone should have to. I write this series from my heart and under the prompting of the Holy Spirit, my hope is that this message will in some way minister to others and bring those relationships to a whole new level – one I call a Kingdom Relationship.

“And the two shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (‭Mark‬ ‭10‬:‭8‬ AMP)‬‬‬‬‬‬

I had mentioned in my last blog post that I would be starting a series on Kingdom Relationships. I am not doing this because I have all the answers or think I’m the perfect husband. I am just a man who was blessed over 23 years ago with the most amazing woman ever to grace this planet. I’m pretty sure I could write a book on what NOT to do in a marriage. “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me” are words I have spoken way too many times and my wife has always forgiven me and loved me no matter what! We live life forward nowadays, not looking back; and you must do the same. She has truly stuck by my side through the good, the bad and the ugly.

Debbie Spanberger, AKA Angel, I dedicate this series to you and want to say thank you for making me the most happy and blessed man on the planet!

Back to my opening title and scripture. One of the reasons I feel relationships fail, has to do with the fact that many never fully see themselves as “one together”. The word “commitment” is almost a dirty word nowadays, and one that society has perverted in so many ways. We want to be on our own and live like we are on our own, even in our marriages. Separate lives, separate dreams, separate bank accounts and the list keeps going. I’m not asking for you to agree or disagree, I’m simply speaking from what I see and hear around me on a regular basis. Marriage failure rates seem to grow daily. (I talk from experience, as I have gone through the divorce walk and I wish that on no one!)

“Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.”
Zig Ziglar

Again, a Kingdom Relationship is not a perfect one. We are human and we are going to mess up. I hear couples say “we never fight” and I want to ask them, “Do you live in the same house and talk to each other?” As male and female, we are wired completely different. (We will get more into that thought later.) I think as males, we have a streak of stupid embedded in us because of some of the things we do and say…. just being real and honest here!

I read an article a few years ago in USA Today that was talking about a growing trend in people living together before marriage, to see if they fit into each other’s lives. They want to see if they like living with each other before they get married so that if they don’t like it, they won’t have to get divorced, just in case the relationship doesn’t work out. How sad of a concept and one that is totally against what the Bible calls marriage. Any level of relationship, especially marriage, is not a trial offer like a piece of software that you try to see if you like it first, but instead, it is a relationship that you enter into fully and committed to from the start.

Nothing I ever put in my posts is meant to be me passing judgment, but instead, to hopefully bring a Christian perspective to those that have ears to hear. I know my readers come from different backgrounds and beliefs, but I will always write and share according to what the Bible says and never add or take away from it. And from that I know that we all can grow and learn.

“Whatever your mindset is when you enter into a relationship, will reveal your staying power during hard times.”
Keith Spanberger

Marriage is clearly defined in Ephesians 5:22-33 (CLICK HEAR TO READ). No gray areas: one man, one woman, fully committed, forever, end of story! So what happened? The lack of commitment as I have said many times already, is the start, but not the full answer.

“Compromise and lack of commitment will destroy any relationship and leave us one day asking why.”
Keith Spanberger

Again, don’t think my wife and I have a perfect marriage, but instead, we have a marriage filled with God’s grace which is crucial for success in anything we do in life.

I have only scratched the surface in this post, but I hope that it stirs your hunger for creating a new fire in your marriage or relationship. Stay with me as we journey deeper in the next post on having a Kingdom Relationship. Also, please share this post with others you know. This blog post and this series are not about lifting me up, but instead, lifting up my God and His Son, Jesus, my savior. My life and marriage would be nothing without Him!